In the Word

Content or Blessed?

       As I continue to read my Bible study books, particularly the Calm My Anxious Heart by  Linda Dillow and listen to the women in my group and their personal experiences (I haven't asked if I could post parts of their story so I won't) I realized maybe contentment coincides with blessed and with that a thankfulness and full heart. I realize that everyones life is different, their experiences their own, and some are more of a trial than others. Life is just that… life. Things that we can not possibly control happen, whether it be an annual mammogram and something comes back abnormal or even the loss of a child. Maybe you as a child were abused, unwanted or worse. I find that when these awful things happen, either you turn to God or away. Blame Him or seek Him. I saw today on Pinterest a saying "If I can prevent a child from rape I would, your God would let it happen" it broke my heart. People tend to focus on God whether in good or bad; He's always a hot topic. What about satan? Evil? The darkness? God gave satan domain over the Earth, we are in his world. We are told to be not of this world but apart. "Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2

       Who's to say that God allowed these awful, unspeakable, unthinkable things to happen and not satan? To break you further and put you farther from your Heavenly Father? All I can say is this - I have meet these women and men, who've experienced the worst that this world can throw at them. From breast cancer and the awful chemo treatment, to the abused children who currently reside in a group home, couples who've experienced multiple miscarriages and the loss of a child they hadn't even had the joy to meet yet. These   amazing men and women didn't turn from God but to Him and even though some are still in the throws of their trial I see hope… acceptance…peace…contentment in their circumstances.  I have no way in helping those who are hurting or the answers to why, and don't claim to. I just write what I see, hoping it is the will of God leading me and I pray that you who suffer will turn to God. I make no claim that things will get better, honestly they'll probably get worse. Satan hates it and will try and break you. I just want to leave you with hope and pray that those who are Christians will have a full and thankful heart, content in every circumstance. 

Baby Cannon

20 Weeks Down, 20 to Go!

Pippin was like "Dad? Can I move now?"

How far along: 20 weeks

Total weight gain: 4 to 6 pounds

Maternity clothes: ehh, kinda. Wear lots of yoga pants and t-shirts. But my maternity leggins... Awesome!

Stretch marks: Already had em

Sleep: Awful, my hips hurt something fierce

Best moment: Got to get 20 week ultrasound, diffidently feeling little baby kicks :)

Movement: Almost positive I'm getting some kicks now

Food cravings: goodness- chocolate milk, cereal, bagels, hash browns, water, bananas, grilled chicken, pineapple

Labor signs: heck nah

Gender: No clue, we have a shy baby. She gave us a percentage on what Baby Cannon is, but Josh and I don't want to say and then get all pink or blue and baby is opposite....lol

Belly button in/out: way in

What I miss: sleeping on my back, sleeping in general, Dr. Pepper

What I'm looking forward to: baby bump, visit with family

Milestones: walking more, baby kicks :)

In The Word

Topic: Contentment

     I've struggled with what to say with this post. I want to spread my experiences and things I've learned as I, hopefully, grow in Christ. Even now I've erased countless sentences and paragraphs trying to find the wording for this post. I've mulled, and chewed for weeks knowing that this is an awesome thing to understand, confront, and, as a Child of Christ, something we need to learn and embrace.

       Content. Contentment. As I began to read this book, I was confronted from the first page on how ungrateful and unhappy with where God had placed me. I complain about my pregnancy and how "unglowing" it has been thus far. Where we are living - I hate apartment living. And even where we live - Arizona. I'm just not a desert person. I was discontent with relationships in my life, or the lack of them. And then I began to read...

      The women in this book are amazing and the countless scripture is compelling and convicting. 

       A quote from the book by a lady named Ella who was a missionary in Africa- no electricity, extreme heat, humidity, and no modern conveniences.

      "Never allow yourself to complain about anything-not even the weather. Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else. Never compare your lot with another's. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise. Never dwell on tomorrow-remember that tomorrow is God's not yours."

       I was floored with how guilty I was of each one of these.  This is just the beginning of this Bible study and we're only a few weeks in. But those words...I was ashamed of myself. They've been in my mind for weeks, convicting me. I realized that I'm extremely blessed. I am blessed to be able to carry this baby, to experience something that some women can't and they'd give anything to. Where I live shouldn't matter. God has provided the means for us to even have a place to lay our heads. As for Arizona? I'd rather be here with my husband than anywhere else without him. We've been separated for most of our marriage to date, because of the Air Force and to see him everyday, even on our bad days is better than not at all. My relationships? I have plenty of relationships that are by far more fulfilling and beneficial with conversations of God and talking about Him, to the love of Harry Potter, or just to splurge all the word vomit that sometimes can not be contained. To vent or listen to their problems or concerns or to be in complete silence without the need or pressure to fill it with words. I'll be content with those and pray that God will make even more meaningful relationships, and if not I know that I'll be just fine without. I hope as you read(if you read it all) you, too, will realize how blessed you are. 

        "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13 Apostle Paul